The world of film fandom consistently argues whether specific films should be remade or left alone, in fear of “ruining childhoods” and “destroying character’s quality.” This rings particularly loud in the horror genre, as classic horror films like Black Christmas and The Fog have been remade and received incredibly poor responses from critics and fans alike. Many horror lovers just prefer that Hollywood stay away from remakes/reboots completely, often forgetting that some of the best horror films of all time sit firmly in this category, ala John Carpenter’s The Thing and David Cronenberg’s The Fly.
With more than 80 film adaptations of his work, it’s common knowledge that a large percentage of Stephen King’s stories has been less-than-stellar on the screen. Sure, there are a few untouchables, like The Green Mile or Stand by Me, but weirdly enough, there isn’t nearly the argument against remaking his films (especially from the ‘80s) as you would think. Many King fans have thought that one of his best books, Firestarter, has needed a modern remake, even with the moderately decent Drew Barrymore-led adaptation from 1984. As of this month, filmmaker Keith Thomas (The Vigil) and Blumhouse Productions have provided just that. The remake stars Ryan Kiera Armstrong in the lead role, with Zac Efron, Sydney Lemmon, Kurtwood Smith, and Michael Greyeyes taking on supporting roles.
For those unfamiliar with the classic King novel or the 1984 film, Firestarter follows the story of Charlie McGee, a young girl with pyrokinetic powers that she gained from her parents by participating in an MK-Ultra-style government testing process. As Charlie struggles to understand or control her power to set things aflame, her father, Andy, must keep her safe as the secretive government group “The Shop” tries to hunt them down.
The Firestarter cast was fine; unfortunately, it doesn’t go beyond that. Drew Barrymore is a hard act to follow, and I think Armstrong did a decent job as a child actor with the script she had. Still, it was the responsibility of other, more veteran actors to up the game and at least try to deliver some memorable performances. We know Kurtwood Smith can act, and we know he can be a great villain (Robocop), so it’s hard to excuse such a small and forgettable performance. It was a great choice to go with a Native American actor to play the role of Rainbird (George C. Scott played him in the original). Still, his character’s direction was muddied and chopped, never really giving us the stone-cold killer feel he was supposed to.
The lone bright spot in the acting was Zac Efron, who clearly had the most to win or lose with a good performance, especially with his vocal statements about wanting to be in the MCU. His performance was extremely solid in the role of Andy, but unfortunately, some weird lines and constant neck-cracking took away from it.
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The film starts strong, laying a decent base and backstory with Charlie’s parents and her struggling to understand her powers. There was a particularly bothersome dream sequence to kick off the film that had me more excited than I thought I would be. Unfortunately, as soon as the running started, I quickly lost interest. The more the movie progressed, the more it relied on a weak script and strange delivery. Veteran acting moments were replaced with odd “training moments,” and the glue holding the film together started to melt.
The effects were a mixed bag. The CG heat and fire effects were strange and more akin to mid-2000s SYFY films, whereas the practical gore effects were pretty damned good and grotesque, giving me just enough to not fully give up on the film as it approached its explosive finale. I’m a huge fan of the book and liked the 1984 film well enough. I was looking forward to seeing some awesome fireballs and burn suits. The finale had some of it, but it was just overwhelmingly disappointing. I try extremely hard to go into remakes without comparing them to their source material or original films, but it’s so jarring to know a film in 2022 can spend just as much (or much more) on its budget as a film in 1984 and look so much worse.
The one true saving grace of Firestarter is the one thing I was the most excited about the new soundtrack composed by John Carpenter, Cody Carpenter, and Daniel Davies. The original film’s soundtrack was an absolute banger from Tangerine Dream, so it was amazing that they were able to match the musical talent and energy with a soundtrack from the horror master himself. The music simply rocked, holding the scenes together by a thread.
Overall, I wasn’t shocked by my disappointment with the remake, but I was disappointed nonetheless. Firestarter is a film I truly believe could benefit from a great modern remake. This one just felt like such a missed opportunity. The story is heartbreaking, filled with action and suspense, has a great villain, and excellent source material. Unfortunately, it will probably be another 30 years before someone else has the guts or wants to take the financial risk to try again.
