Between the high-definition polygonal graphics we have now and the 2D sprite-based artwork that once dominated arcades and home consoles, there was a fun transitory period somewhere in between. The ability to render shapes in three dimensions was exciting and fresh, leading most developers to outright abandon their 2D roots and embrace the next generation of graphics. Of course, things weren’t all the way there yet. An equal amount of artistry and imagination went into how early 3D assets were made, pasted together, and placed for an enthusiastic viewer to see. Sometimes, the end result was viscerally beautiful, even iconic in the memories of those who’ve witnessed them at a young age. Other times, not so much.
It’s the kind of look that directly inspired Zortch, an FPS game developed and published by Mutantleg in June 2023. Technically called Zortch Maxinum Against the Alien Brainsuckers, you play as the eponymous short-order cook who finds herself at her wits’ end. Tired from the daily grind and desperate for a reprieve, she takes the cheapest option for an interstellar vacation. What she couldn’t have possibly expected, however, was that the vacation was secretly a ruse to feed a group of brain-eating monstrosities. From the official Steam description: “Also this game is a sci-fi horror comedy fps.”
Zortch Focuess on Player Experience
Comparatively light on horror, Zortch wears its influences on its sleeves. Borrowing from the same kind of atmosphere and gameplay found in games like Turok and Unreal, Zortch sees our title character running and shooting through expansive levels, collecting keys, and blowing up obstacles to progress in her quest to escape the bloodsuckers. Across her journey, a mysterious voice grants her hints and advice throughout the tight corridors and wide expanses of her alien surroundings while occasionally cracking a joke at her expense.
More information can be found in the game’s manual if you so desire, but it purposefully avoids beating you over the head with the current goings-on. Even the game’s ending makes a quick joke of exposition dumps by having Zortch fall asleep during the middle of one.
The real focus here is the actual playing experience. Zortch, being in a boomer shooter, is pretty light on her feet. Her base movement speed is exemplary, and you can break into a sprint to quickly cover even more ground. She also has a kick that lunges her forward a good distance and a slide-kick that serves a similar function. Both have the ability to knock lighter enemies on their back for a variety of purposes, either to score a quick headshot or simply make some breathing room. She can also jump, which probably goes without saying. You won’t be forced to do a ton of precision platforming, but verticality does play a significant part in a majority of Zortch‘s levels.
Zortch isn’t a very long game by any means. Comprised of twenty levels spread across five episodes, you’ll quickly get attuned to the game’s progression: three regular levels, one boss, and episode complete. That’s not a bad thing, mind you. You can freely select any level you’ve already completed to replay at any point, which is incredibly appreciated. After every level’s completion, you’re shown the time elapsed to complete the level, as well as how many secrets you discovered out of the level’s total secrets available.
Those who played Duke Nukem 3D will also appreciate how Zortch transitions from one level to the next. Our heroine punches a big red button as the surrounding environment shatters into pieces, directly referencing how Mr. Nukem finished his own adventures. Across a total of over four hours, I was able to complete all twenty main levels on “Hard” with a little under half of all secrets found.
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Length is always a contentious thing, but in Zortch‘s case, it feels appropriate. Its pacing is incredibly brisk, and every stage offers some kind of new gimmick or obstacle to overcome without ever getting stale. Toxic waste pits, a runaway train, walking landmines, and more coalesce with deliberately low-resolution textures and low-polycount maps.
While I did get lost once or twice, it was usually my own doing. Zortch does an excellent job of guiding the player with its vibrant use of colors, varied environments, and occasional breadcrumbs that lead to each level’s exit. While you’ll find the entirety of your arsenal long before the game’s ending, it’ll gradually escalate the scale of your battles to force some intelligent usage out of your munitions.
Weapons & Alien Baddies
Speaking of which, weapons! Your typical staples are here, and then some, with every weapon having two distinct firing modes: a wrench that acts like a boomerang, shotgun, pistol, machine gun, grenade launcher, bundles of TNT, flamethrower, trip mines, and lightning gun all make up Zortch‘s expansive arsenal. Of course, with two firing modes, each weapon can serve multiple functions. The pistol, for instance, normally fires weak homing projectiles, but it can also be used to create a powerful shield that blocks incoming attacks. The flamethrower can either shoot out a stream of flames or lob a napalm-laden grenade that coats a wider area in fire. Other weapon functions are a lot more practical. Case in point, the shotgun, which can fire either one barrel at a time, or both simultaneously.
You’ll be pointing these things at a surprisingly enthusiastic group of alien baddies, the most common of which being what the manual describes as “Pudding Men.” With both male and female variants, they’re hulking, “multicellular amoeba” creatures with a distinctive purple skin color. They come in multiple variants, each one denoted by the color of their armor and the hulking weapons they carry. In a way, this is where the game’s art style serves its most practical function. You can immediately gauge an enemy’s threat from a great distance away from their blocky silhouettes. The cyan ones carrying hulking boxes on their backs will riddle you with bullets, the green ones carrying a box over their shoulder will launch rockets at you, and so on. The game’s more alien designs, from mutated dinosaurs to the hulking Brainsuckers, are nothing to scoff at either.
Something that should be noted is how you can use the environment to deal with various enemies. Fish monsters will feed on the remains of enemies before focusing on you, the aforementioned mines can be distracted by various objects, and some enemy projectiles can even be reflected with your kicks. You may not even notice them at first, but they’re wonderful touches.
There’s a level of aggressiveness in Zortch‘s AI that felt genuinely exciting to fight against. Enemies won’t just give chase on foot. They will frequently scale entire stairwells and rooftops just to get a better angle to shoot you with. Taking refuge in one spot is not feasible in a majority of scenarios. You’ll often find yourself intercepting their sweeping jumps and trading advantages in positioning throughout the game’s many firefights. Even from as early as the first level, it sets a precedent that you’ll have to not only fight but survive in every sense of the word.
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Thankfully, there are plentiful ways to keep yourself alive. Aside from the expected health and armor you can find throughout, Zortch also carries a dedicated medical kit that can be used to quickly top up her health at any time, as long as you have enough of a reserve to do so. Other items, like various foods and drinks, can quickly add up to an adequate amount of health. On rare occasions, you can even find power-ups that overheal you to an incredible degree or present some other incredible effect, like temporary invisibility or a massive damage buff.
What to Know Before Playing Zortch
Zortch does have one minor gripe worth addressing. Due to how the game was made, it remains locked at a firm 60 FPS with no option to go any higher. While I personally didn’t have a problem with this, others may find it important. Otherwise, the game’s other technical issues have been promptly addressed in hotfixes, with plenty of other options to tailor your experience.
Zortch, in many ways, is a comforting throwback to an era of early 3D FPS games. The game’s manual, a refreshingly straightforward PDF document, even goes so far as to include black and white images of character models as if it were printed out en masse. The game’s low system requirements were equal parts humorous and impressive: Windows XP, 1 GB of RAM, and a 1.5 GHz CPU are the bare minimum required, with “anything better” recommended in their place. The game’s main menu even features a colorful help screen loaded with trimmed images, something that’s practically nonexistent nowadays.
It’s not a glitzy or glamorous game by any means. Rather, it comes off as a personal passion project; something made to celebrate a bygone era and introduce some welcomed modern touches.
Zortch is available on Steam and Itch.io for the low price of $5. A free demo for Zortch is also available if you’d like to try it before you buy.
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