When buying a new home, the professionals will tell you it’s all about location, location, location. However, if horror tropes in cinema has taught us anything it’s that there are far more sinister things to take into account too.
Here’s our list of 10 horror tropes to avoid when buying a new house.
10. Home Movies (Sinister, 2012)
It’s customary, when exploring your new home, to check out what goodies have been left in the attic or basement by the previous residents. If, by some miracle, they’ve left a collection of “home movies” behind, then it’s probably best that you throw them in the trash straight way.
At the very least, you could be opening a gateway for some demonic child catcher to come through and murder you. Either that, or you’ll get to see ole Agnes and Jim engaging in some bizarre sex act to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary. One way or another, watching those films is a very bad idea and certainly one of the horror tropes to steer clear of.
9. Creatures in the Basement (Don’t be Afraid of the Dark, 2010)
If there’s one thing I’ve learned from all my years of ignoring expositional warnings, it’s this: Never ignore an expositional warning! So, when a young girl sent to live with her father and his new crumpet unwittingly releases creatures from a sealed ash pit in the basement, ignoring the warnings of the staff who work on the grounds of her new home, it’s unsurprising that pretty much everyone involved ends up dead.
You have been warned … expositionally!
8. Squatters (The Vagrant, 1992)
There’s nothing worse than moving into your swanky new pad, only to find that the smelly old tramp who’d been squatting in it while it was empty hasn’t moved out. That’s the dilemma facing Graham Krakowski (Bill Paxton), who winds up being framed for murder by his unwanted lodger.
7. Â The Neighbour (Fright Night, 1985)
Some of the issues of real estate aren’t caused by you moving out, but by neighbors moving in. Take Jerry Dandridge (Chris Sarandon) for example. At face value, when he moves into the neighborhood he’s handsome, he’s charming and he’s a real killer with the ladies. It turns out that that son of a bitch is actually a Vampire intent on feasting on his neighbors before moving on to pastures new.
Keep your wits about you dear reader, or you may just become a snack at his next housewarming party if you don’t stay away from these horror tropes!
6. The Last Owners (Beetlejuice, 1988)
When it comes to previous owners haunting up the house, you could do a lot worse than Adam and Barbara Maitland. What you really need to worry about is the bio-exorcist they might hire if they fail to scare you away themselves!
5. Uninvited Guests (The Strangers, 2008)
When you’ve just moved into your new home, it is customary for neighbors to come knocking to introduce themselves, drop off house warming gifts and generally snoop around your home to see what kind of shit you’re into. But don’t be so quick to answer the door when you hear the knock, or the bell starts to ring. You don’t know who…or what…is lurking in the darkness.
4. Monsters under the bed (Little Monsters, 1989)
Your parents may tell you there’s nothing to be scared of as they tuck you in to bed for your first night in your new room. They may tell you that there’s nothing in the closet and no one lurking under the bed, but they’d be lying.
Monsters are real. It’s one of the popular horror tropes, but it’s a fact. They’re also blue and listen to punk rock and use the underneath of your bed as a portal between their world and ours. Some of these monsters are friendly, but others will want to kidnap your siblings for their own nefarious ends and ultimately turn them into one of their own, trapping them in the monster realm for all time.
3. Â The Beldam (Coraline, 2009)
When 11-year old Coraline Jones moves into her new home with her neglectful parents, she discovers a passageway to an alternative reality where everything seems so much better. But the alternate version of her mother, who dotes on the eponymous heroine, is really the malevolent Beldam, a haggard old witch who traps the souls of children by removing their eyes.
You might not want your mother paying too many visits when you buy your new home, but surely she’s not as bad as the Beldam. Right?
2. Indian Burial Grounds (The Simpsons Treehouse of Horror, 1990)
In the episode titled ‘Bad Dream House,’ the Simpson family move into a luxurious new home, which just so happened to have been built on the site of an ancient Indian burial ground. Slowly the house begins to take control of the family members, one by one, forcing them to turn on each other.
Leave it to Marge then to save the day. Coming to her senses, she pleads with the haunted house to live peacefully alongside her family. Weighing up what it would be like to house America’s most dysfunctional family, the house chooses to destroy itself instead.
“It chose to destroy itself rather than live with us. You can’t help but feel a little rejected,” quipped Lisa in its wake.
1. Dead uncles under the floorboards (Hellraiser, 1987)
Moving into Uncle Frank’s abandoned house might seem like a good idea at first, but when it becomes apparent that Frank is actually living under the floorboards, trapped halfway between Hell and Earth. You’re then stuck with the laborious task of picking up dudes in bars, luring them home and killing them so that Frank can drink their blood and restore his body back to flesh.
Sure, the guy’s family but all this murder and blood letting is really eating into your decorating plans! Selfish old Frank.
