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In an attempt to move forward in my seemingly impossible life task to watch every major horror franchise and claim my spot upon the terrible horror movie throne, I decided to take the plunge and sit through one of the largest and most viewer-thrashed collections out there, the Hellraiser series. Sit back, bring the lap bar down, and enjoy as I take you on a scorching roller coaster ride through hell.
The first Hellraiser film is a classic, there is no disputing that. Rarely do you get to see the writer of a novel take the director’s reigns and bring his literary vision to life first-hand. Clive Barker had an idea on paper, and with the wonders of 80’s practical effects and a great makeup/effects team, not only was he able to reproduce his gory and gruesome story on film, but was able to create one of the most iconic horror villains ever, even though Pinhead only had about eight minutes of screen time. The film pushed the boundaries of what horror fans were used to, showing pools of blood, muscles and bones being ripped apart, and bodies melting while we were lulled by the creepily melancholy voice of Doug Bradley. The film still holds up, and absolutely belongs in the ranks of the best in 80’s horror.
Hellbound: Hellraiser II released a year later in 1988, with newcomer Tony Randel at the helm. Randel had previously been an effects worker on films like Galaxy of Terror and Escape From New York, so it made sense that he wanted to get his directorial feet wet with a film that would be so heavily integrated with practical effects. Barker returned as an executive producer, and helped Randel explore the origin of the Cenobites. The effects were top-notch, and although there are many replayed shots from the first film, I thought the sequel came out nicely.
In 1992, Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth was removed from Tony Randel’s hold for being “too bleak”, and placed in the hands of director Anthony Hickox, known for the Waxwork films, a fun, but much sillier horror franchise. Randel still helped write the story, which focused even more on the Cenobites, and how our protagonist would send them and Pinhead back to hell. We also got some extremely cool mythology stuff regarding the Leviathan and the Pillar of Souls. The effects weren’t as strong in this film, but still decent. The production crew wanted to cut time on the makeup application, and Doug Bradley went on record saying his makeup from this film was his least favorite of them all. Overall, we got a fine film, and honestly…it all goes down from here…or I guess…up?
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That’s right, it only took four films for this franchise to travel to outer space with Hellraiser: Bloodline. Pre-dating films like Leprechaun 4: In Space and Jason X, Pinhead was the first major horror baddie to make the intergalactic jump. This would be the only feature film of Kevin Yagher’s directing career, and what we got was a flashback origin story of the puzzle box, starring a young Adam Scott in a terrible wig, and his future ancestor trying to right his wrongs…in space. There were still a few fun things about this one, but it started rounding the turn from Barker’s serious story to silliness.
What lengthy horror franchise would be complete without an attempt at a noir detective story? That’s exactly what we’re handed with Hellraiser: Inferno. Why is this film bad? Let’s start with the fact that it was never supposed to be a Hellraiser film. To save a quick buck on screenwriting a new and original Hellraiser story, Dimension Films edited a previously completed script to now contain Pinhead and Cenobites. The director/writer Scott Derrickson would go on to direct Sinister and The Exorcism of Emily Rose, two well-liked films in the horror community. He would also go on to write the MCU’s Dr. Strange, so good on him for turning coal into cash. Going back to this film, it lacks in almost every single department the others succeed in. It had almost nothing to do with anything Hellraiser related, and isn’t worth the time & money spent on finding one of those Hellraiser 5-8 collections on DVD at Walmart.
You would think Dimension Films would have learned their lesson with the last movie, but nope. They did the same song and dance with the script of Hellraiser: Hellseeker, editing a non-Hellraiser script with Pinhead and the Cenobites to save money. They brought in Rick Bota to direct the film, who would go on to direct two more Hellraiser sequels after this one. The story focuses around a businessman trying to put together details of his wife’s death and deciphering the puzzle box he finds after waking up from a car crash. The businessman is portrayed by Dean Winters, who most of you would know from AllState commercials. There is no connection with any of the other films, and once again, Pinhead and the Cenobites barely make appearances.
I absolutely cannot believe there are still four more movies to talk about. Next up comes part seven, Hellraiser: Deader. Dimension tried doing the same thing with this film, but because the script had literally nothing to do with anything even remotely hell related, the script was heavily edited, and the third act was completely re-written. We still don’t get much Pinhead (see a trend here?), and disjointed story creates one of the most convoluted and worst films of franchise. However, they do tie the story back to the fourth film, making the main character a distant ancestor of the puzzle box creator. At least we got that.
For whatever reason Hellraiser: Hellworld is one of the most memorable of the series to me, and honestly the best of the bunch past part four. I think the reason is that the film fully embraced that late 90’s-to-mid 2000’s era of horror that included the House on Haunted Hill remake, Stay Alive, Valentine, and Dracula 2000. Not good films, but still somewhat entertaining. We also got a young Henry Cavill and an always welcomed Lance Henrickson, who made up for Pinhead’s lack of screen time yet again. This was the first film since the fourth that used an original Hellraiser story for the script, and you can tell. It was also the last film Doug Bradley played the iconic character.
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Oof. We’ve now come to the absolute worst film in the series, Hellraiser: Revelations. Doug Bradley declined to do this film when he was presented with an unfinished script, with no intention of creating a second draft. He later referred to the film as “a cinematic ashcan copy.” He’s not far off. Dimension rushed into filming because they were about to lose the rights to the franchise. Bradley was replaced with Stephan Smith Collins, who looked more like a bad cosplay than the character. The film was so ineffective, that Clive Barker himself tweeted “If they claim it’s from the mind of Clive Barker, it’s a lie. It’s not even from my butthole.” Moving on.
I have NOTHING to do with the fuckin’ thing. If they claim its from the mind of Clive Barker,it’s a lie. It’s not even from my butt-hole.
— Clive Barker (@RealCliveBarker) August 21, 2011
In Hellraiser: Judgement, Pinhead was recast again with Paul T. Taylor, who gave a much stronger performance than Collins. Unfortunately, he fell victim to a laughably bad costume, with an extremely fake-looking exposed chest. The film’s story felt like a rejected Saw script and relied on gross-out moments to carry it along. These tactics didn’t work and felt like another nail (no pun intended) hammered into the coffin of Hellraiser.
There you have it, folks. Once again, I have spent valuable hours of my life watching this stuff, so you don’t have to. Turns out, these films didn’t have such sites to show me outside of the first three films in the series. I met Doug Bradley earlier this year and after some great conversation, I asked him if he ever planned to reprise his role as Pinhead. He smiled, then sighed and said, “Never say never, I guess.”. I feel like I’ll have the same response if someone asks me if I’ll ever watch another Hellraiser movie. What do you folks think? Should Doug come back? Should the franchise be continued, or rebooted with someone like Bill Skarsgard as Pinhead? After watching 10 of these films, I think I’m perfectly fine watching the franchise burn to a crisp in the depths of hell, right where it belongs.
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Feed My Coffee Addiction
I suspect many other fans would agree with me on this, if a reasonable script adaptation of The Scarlet Gospels were put together, I’d like to see Bradley cat again in the role. Otherwise, just stop putting out crap.
No arguments here. That would be awesome! Thanks for reading.