Think you know all the Universal monsters? Think again. Fifty years ago, Universal released a movie called Sssssss. That’s seven esses. It’s important to spell it correctly, but as the tagline on the one-sheet states, “Don’t say it. Hiss it.” Directed by Bernard L. Kowalski, Sssssss stars Strother Martin as Dr. Carl Stoner, an unlikely mad scientist bent on evolving people into snakes. Just like any other monster among the Universal classics, Dr. Stoner is a misunderstood monster. He makes some difficult decisions along the way, but he has mankind’s best interest at heart. The reason for changing people into snakes is to save humanity from extinction.
For some unexplained reason, reptiles can withstand the effects of pollution better than man. So changing the world’s population into snakes will somehow preserve us. I bet you’re giddy with anticipation now that you know there’s a climate awareness flick from 1973 about a wacko herpetologist whose worst enemy is Rikki-Tikki-Tavi.
All the reptiles in this film are real. The cast and crew are commended up front for working with dangerous live animals. Though their roles are minor, the king cobras from Bangkok and the python from Singapore are listed as special mentions in the opening. It’s never said whether the venomous snakes were venomoid for filming, but it was the ’70s, after all. Several shots show venom being drawn from syringe-like fangs. There was no budget or CGI in those days to fake a shot like that. Snake venom is the prime ingredient in Stoner’s body-altering serum. It’s in the script, and the show must go on.
Let’s get to work turning Face into a cobra. No? Starbuck? Not that one. The protagonist turned victim is played by none other than Dirk Benedict, known for his role in The A-Team and the original Battlestar Galactica. The up-and-coming sex symbol plays David Blake, a college student who volunteers to work with Dr. Stoner. He soon befriends and seduces Stoner’s daughter, but not before he’s already begun his “treatment.” He’s supposed to be inoculated with venom to build his immunity in case of a bite, but the good doctor is actually turning the poor fellow into a snake.
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The doc’s first experiment is headlining a freak show at a local carnival. The “Snake Man” is the first clue to Kristina Stoner (Heather Menzies) that her father is up to no good. Plot points drop like rain in Sssssss. Or maybe the implied sexual encounter between Kristina and David is just a ’70s thing. Free love and all that. It doesn’t leave a loose end open for a sequel, as much as that pains me to say. Maybe the “she’s pregnant with a monster” trope hadn’t started yet.
Be warned; this movie is really hard to watch. After fifty years, it barely holds up. It’s a slow detour around a premise with promise. You don’t get to the good stuff until you meet Stoner’s first victim at the freak show. He’s nightmare fuel—an unfinished mutant who’s actually a limbless man in make-up. David is the success story in that he actually fully evolves into a snake before killing the only person who can sign off on his college credit.
The make-up is better than the transitions, which utilize the same process they used in turning Lon Chaney Jr. into The Wolf Man in 1941. Three decades later, we had color, but practical make-up was still pretty static. It’s a bit surprising because John Chambers, known for his work on the prosthetics for the original Planet of the Apes (1968), was involved in these scenes. Stills of the make-up are fantastic, but the cinematography in showing the process was extremely low budget and low quality. Half a century ago, we had to use our imaginations a little more than we do now.
I certainly used my imagination. Sssssss was the first horror movie I saw as a child. I was probably much too young to witness it, but seeing a man change into a snake gave me nightmares for years. By the time I saw The Exorcist (the second horror movie I ever saw as a too-young child), I was already prepared for the worst.
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Sssssss has a place in the lexicon of horror, but on the shelf of greatness, it lands under the wall unit to keep it from wobbling. That’s a pretty important job. Without Sssssss, the entire genre might come tumbling down on top of us. It’s not streaming anywhere, but a Blu-ray is available from Shout! Factory. Sssssss is a must-watch movie. At the very least, you’ll be able to answer with a hiss when someone asks you for your most obscure horror recommendation.
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