Here are 10 terrible video games based on movies.
10. ET (Atari Inc, 1982)
The most obvious choice, and the subject of countless lists, articles, myths and even a documentary. So, there really isn’t anything left for me to say.
9. Howard the Duck (Activision, 1986)
I hate saying anything bad about Howard the Duck. He always has been, and always will be one of my favourite Marvel characters. Sometimes though you just must be cruel to be kind.
For no apparent reason, the titular duck is parachuted onto Volcano island where he uses his – ahem – Quack Fu to defeat what looks like Ninja’s, before battling his arch nemesis Overlord, who has kidnapped his 2 best friends Phil and Beverley.
The game looks pretty (hats off to the programming team of Troy Lyndon, Scott Orr, Harald Seeley, and John Cutter), and the duck puns will have you quacking up (pause for laughter) but it’s no hidden gem. It is only 4 levels long, and isn’t the easiest to control. The plot also has no apparent link to the movie and the developer clearly considered it a low priority, as they were working on other “big ticket” tie-ins like Big Trouble in Little China and Aliens.
8. Evil Dead: Hail to the King (THQ, 2000)
Sixteen years ago, we weren’t lucky enough to have an Evil Dead spin-off series on TV. In those days, we were still glued to the message boards in the hopes that Sam Raimi or Bruce Campbell would make our nerdy little dreams come true by confirming a fourth installment in the movie series. To appease the frothy mouthed hoards, THQ released Hail to the King on the PS2 and Dreamcast giving us the chance to continue the adventures of Ash ourselves. Sounds good, right? Right?
Aside from being painfully hard, the game mechanics were clunky, the laughs were gone and the fixed camera angles made it increasingly infuriating when trying to kill anything. In an era where Resident Evil was blowing people away, Hail to the King was as fun as a Boomstick to the face.
7. Austin Powers Pinball (Wildfire Studios, 2002)
I love pinball. I quite enjoyed the Austin Powers movies, at least the first dozen times. Sadly, these two things have no business being brought together as a video game. Oh, and listening to Mike Myer’s repeatedly saying “Groovy baby” makes you want to pull out his rotten teeth or snap off his cryogenically frozen dick.
6. Friday the 13th The Computer Game (Domark, 1985)
What can I say about Friday the 13th that hasn’t been said already, and more importantly won’t get me chopped into tiny pieces by my colleagues at HorrorGeekLife?
Originally devised as a totally unrelated game, this ill-advised cash in attempt pits players against the notorious Jason Voorhees in a dangerous game of “let’s walk around the camp without getting killed,” all set to a repetitive synth soundtrack just like in the… movies…. hey, wait a minute…
5. Ghostbusters (Activision, 1984)
Growing up I was a HUGE Ghostbusters fan. I’m not kidding. I had everything you could imagine – toys, books, stickers, props, scripts – so getting my hands on a copy of the video game was enough to make my cross the proverbial streams in my pants!
There is no possible way to measure how horribly disappointed I was when I played this. You basically drive around New York, except you’re just the Ghostbuster logo with the occasional cut scene thrown in. Now and again you might fight a ghost, but it’s impossible to figure out how to activate this element of the game, so instead you continue “driving” your logo around New York until you get so bored you die.
4. Catwoman (EA UK, 2004)
Catwoman is probably one of the worst films ever made. If you bought this game then you are an idiot, who only parted with your cash because you’d heard that the entire budget seemingly went on making Halle Berry’s boobs look incredible. Kudos for that EA.
3. Street Fighter The Movie (Capcom, 1995)
Prior to being a piece of shit movie, Street Fighter was synonymous with success as one of the greatest video game franchises of all time. Shortly after bastardizing it for the big screen, Capcom released the latest edition of the video game and despite everything that had come before it, they made a terrible, terrible game.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE? Just re-release a previous game or utilise the same engine or poop in a box, it would be an improvement!
There was a version of this in the arcades too, but somehow that didn’t suck anywhere near as much as this. Shame on you, Capcom!
2. Top Gun (Konami, 1987)
Oh you like flight simulators? Wow, yeah they’re amazing… and….yawn….no, I’m not falling asleep….yawn…Tom Cruise…yawn…zzzzzzzzz
1. Aliens: Colonial Marines (Sega, 2013)
Oh, boy. Where do we start with this one? How about the terrible AI – does the Alien even know you’re there? How about the never-ending list of glitches? Oh, it’s OK because you can’t be killed when the Alien is trapped halfway between the room and the wall. Or what about the total lack of a campaign mode? Oh, sure it has a campaign mode, but is that it? Really?
Colonial Marines is an embarrassment to the Alien franchise, but one that was quickly forgotten following the release of the superb Alien Isolation. Wasn’t it nice of us to remind you?
What games would make your list of the worst movie tie-ins ever? Sound off in the comments section.
