‘The Muppets Take Manhattan’ 35 Years Later

July 10, 2019

Thirty-five years ago, five full years before Jason took Manhattan, the scariest creatures on the planet rolled into town. The Muppets Take Manhattan (1984) was like a prequel to the previous films, The Muppet Movie (1979) and The Great Muppet Caper (1981), but also served as a closing to a trilogy of movies that had no arc other than the relationship between Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy. Their on again off again relationship seems to be the subplot to everything Muppets. Throughout the ‘70s, kids and adults who’d watched The Muppet Show on a regular basis on network television wondered how things would go with Piggy and Kermit. I mean, she was violent! Kermit has always been the classic beta male. His best love has always been the stage. He’s as asexual as, say, a frog. Miss Piggy’s testosterone-induced fits were what he never realized he needed. He loved the stage, and she loved drama. A perfect match.

Let’s just throw out continuity or canon storylines altogether. That’s how we did stuff in the ‘70s and ‘80s, anyway. Stories were told non-linear, and if events didn’t jibe, well, those other facts are from different movies… or different shows. The Muppets couldn’t even keep their stories as straight as The Brady Bunch. From 1976 to 1981, we wondered if Piggy and Kermit would ever get married. Oh, that was another thing: Weddings. We had Luke and Laura, Peter and Mary Jane (he hit the jackpot), Charles and Diana, Ringo Starr and Barbara Bach (you go, Ringo!); you get the idea. We finally got the Kermit and Piggy wedding in The Muppets take Manhattan. Or so I thought. Yo, there are Muppet GEEKS out there. You can actually follow a timeline of the Piggy and Kermit relationship. They may not have legitimately married after all! So forget anything I have to say about continuity.

The Muppets basically left college, went to Manhattan, hit a few bumps, and then had a smash hit, and were an overnight success… only to be followed by a wedding. Basically, it’s the story of how these crazy little felt monsters started the Muppet Show, the early version being Manhattan Melodies, written and directed by the frog himself. More relationship bumps because Kermit has a human side chick. But then he marries the pig in the end and everyone is happy. It’s like the way George Lucas made Star Wars. Knowing he may never get to make another, he truncated the long arc into one movie. That’s why there are two Death Stars. The Kermit and Piggy wedding is the most powerful weapon in the universe, and it’s about to get blown up. Twice. Blame Miss Piggy for all the inevitable mass casualties on Endor from all the fallout. The poor Ewoks. Frank Oz, you did this.

Let’s talk about this movie for a second. The Muppets Take Manhattan, not Star Wars. I’m done with that comparison. Or am I? Pigs in Space! No, for reals, okay, let’s catch up. The opening credits take us on a ride over Manhattan, and we’re listening to Kermit’s opening number. Side note: for whatever reason during the many views of Manhattan, we never see the World Trade Center. Anybody ever explore that conspiracy? Because I just might have to. I bet it’s something as simple as Jim Henson didn’t want the commercial image of the capitalist pigs’ Mecca in his film. Not saying that’s fact, just that I could see that being the reason for the blatant omission. Or maybe there was a glare in the camera facing south, so all the skyline shots were facing north from below Central Park. Shoot, forgot I was supposed to talk about this film…

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So, montage credits over Manhattan, yada yada yada, skip to what looks like a Westchester college campus scene, the sign for the fictional Danhurst College, and on the marquis is Manhattan Melodies. It’s a senior class variety show, and the college student extras are having a ball playing the audience. Slo-mo through the applause in that scene, and I swear you will see at least one drunk dude, a few folks who are obviously high, and one film executive who forgot to get out of the seat before they started shooting the pan across the crowd. And what college scene would be complete without a student being seriously sexually harassed. Different times, I guess. Boys will be boys. Animal puppets will be animal puppets. “Woman!” Animal screams as he’s chasing down a student who clearly said no more than once to him. LOL, Animal. What can you do, right? Can’t rewrite history.

After their success in school, they are inspired to take the show to the Big Apple. There they meet a few key cameos who you expect will play bigger roles, but they never do. It must have been some prestigious goal to get your face in a Muppets movie. A chain smoking Dabney Colman, a classic-Joan Joan Rivers, Liza Minnelli, a svelt and sporty Gregory Hines (who had amazing comedic timing, by the way), Brooke Shields for whatever reason (though she also later learned to be a great comedy actor), a past his prime Art Carney (a former master of comedy), and Linda Lavin; a serious actor who played comedy well by playing opposite some of the most insanely funny characters in Alice. She was the straight character against Mel, Flo and Vira. She wasn’t so funny opposite Kermit who, had amnesia, a trope ailment of the ’70s and ‘80s. Kinda wish they’d bring some of that back.

Oh, right, so Kermit has amnesia because he got hit by a cab. It’s a right of passage for transplant New Yorkers to be hit by a cab or mugged. I was proactive and kicked a cab’s tail light out because, man, I never wanted to get mugged. Speaking of mugging, what ‘80s New York movie would be complete without Ed Koch? It was serendipity seeing his face since I recently mentioned him in relation to his doppelgänger in Batman (1989). Tangent, I know. That’s how you get hit by a cab. Skipping all the interspecies dating, and the constant mentioning of it. Writer Tom Pratchett must have been obsessed. I kind of wish director Frank Oz would have played that up more, though. Jenny, played by a young Julia Donald (think Margot Kidder meets Krysten Ritter), is Kermit’s platonic friend who helps him focus on his goal of making it on Broadway. Just once I’d like to have see them kiss. You know, really give Miss Piggy something to get violent and abusive about. So, yeah, the show is picked up, and Kermit mindlessly walks into traffic. Cue: Amnesia. Speaking of Amnesia, The Muppets Take Manhattan is the birthplace of Muppet Babies, and man, would I like to forget that!

First Kermit is Enrico Tortellini of Passaic, New Jersey, and then he’s Philip Phil, ad executive. While the gang is searching for him, the show must go on, of course. By chance, he enters Pete’s Luncheonette where Jenny works, and everything is hunky dory again. Manhattan Melodies is a smash. “Peoples is peoples. Is all tomatoes. Is potatoes, hm?” Yes, is potatoes. The pig and the frog are married, and the trilogy of weirdness is finished. I didn’t realize how much I would enjoy seeing The Muppets Take Manhattan. I saw it as a teenager, and of course, it sucked. This week I watched it twice. Now I want to find the Easter eggs. One of which, I believe, is not mentioned anywhere online. At the beginning of the dejection scene where the cast of Muppets is giving up their dreams and going their separate ways; there is a strategically placed puppeteer holding what looks like a frog and a bird in front of a bodega. Big Bird? Kermit? I don’t know if these are early designs, but if you know I’d sure like to know too. It’s at the 14:05 mark for all you sleuths out there. If you’re feeling extra sleuthy, you can check the scene where Kermit and Piggy are getting a carriage ride. I think the coachman is Jim Henson Himself. If you really want to dig deep, somebody find out why no buildings below midtown appear. And what temperature do Muppets melt?